She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
