Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
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