It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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