so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
