This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
