I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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