no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
