used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
