We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
either way he was missing a nipple.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Randomize
