They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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