Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
