I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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