Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
