I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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