Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
