I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
