Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
