I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
