I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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