Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
