I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
