i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He better not be in your backpack
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
