just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
