Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize