Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
only you would photoshop your dick
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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