She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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