her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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