i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
