Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
only you would photoshop your dick
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
