Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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