I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
