I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize
