So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
