youre lurking in front of me
Can Purell be used as lube?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize