i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
