we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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