so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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