seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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