"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
