We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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