and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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