I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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