Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
