I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
