I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
