real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
