Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
