Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
