D3 body, D1 cock
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
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