i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
