FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
