Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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