So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
