weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Floor bacon is actually really good
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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