There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
