put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am midnight drunk by noon
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
