Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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