omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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