I never want to see another naked old woman again.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
