five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
