I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
