Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
