I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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