i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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